Aunt Dorothy - completing her quilt

I was inspired to create a quilt with the essence of my Aunt Dorothy in mind. At the time, she was alive. I tell people of the story of when I last visited her. She was able to participate in the conversation for about 10 minutes and then would have to nap. She told me that it was time to leave her body.

“My teeth are falling out when I chew,” she said, “It’s time to go.”

At the time, she was hovering around the age of 102. Her quality of life was deteriorating and it was time for her to move out of her apartment into a retirement home.

I always remember her telling me that she wanted to be with her husband, Roy, at that it was time for her to go long before she even hit her 90’s.

For her 100th birthday, I wrote a letter to her that was read at her party, which I included in the first blog post I wrote about her. I’ve also included it below.

6.3.16

Dear Aunt Dorothy,

Kevin and I both wish that we could have celebrated your very special day with you.  We send our apologies for not being able to come back to Canada, at this time.

May your day be filled with sunshine, smiles, laughter and love.

To me, you’re 10 decades young.  When I look at you, I don’t see someone who is 100 years old.  I see a beautiful aunt who inspires me to love every trial and tribulation of life.  
You’ve taught me to be kind and to be of service to the people around me.  I remember how you used to go out of your way to visit grandma when mum was in Florida just so grandma wasn’t lonely.  You’ve taught me that it is the actions of someone that far outweighs anything else in life.  It’s what we do for people, how much love we give to them that is most important in life.

You’ve taught me how to love.  I would watch you and your relationship with Uncle Roy.  The sparkle in your eye and your unwavering love for him was so very noticeable.  Again, it was all in your actions.  I sometimes wonder if I modelled my search for love off of what you showed me.  I see a lot of Uncle Roy in my husband, especially his sense of humour. I am so very grateful to have modelled to me, a beautiful love story.

Lastly but not least, resilience; you are a resilient woman who overcomes all that comes to her by merely approaching life through the eyes of love and forgiveness. You take everything in its stride. What a powerful trait to have, Aunt Dorothy! 

I praise you for the love, caring and wisdom you’ve so given generously everyday for 100 years.

Happy 100th birthday!

Love,

Holly, Kevy, Ruby and Whistler xo xo xo xo 


Now I talk about her as a memory.

The quilt started when she was alive and I am just about to finish it.

I’ve just mopped the floor so that I can lay out the bottom fabric and sandwich it together with the wadding and top fabric to start the machine quilting.

When Aunt Dorothy died, I had finished the main quilt and had just attached the outer border.

Then she died and the creative force stopped.

It stopped for 3 years.

Then the inspiration arrived again and I knew exactly how to finish the piece off.

Aunt Dorothy was talking to me through my creativity.

It got me questioning. Was she in life review for the linear time of what calculated as 3 years for me?

I guess I’ll never know.

It feels right though.

The fact that I converse with my grandmother, grandfather, Aunt Bonnie and now Aunt Dorothy is just another person who has long since gone to add to the list.

I wonder what interesting things she’ll reveal to me and others through this quilt?

It has been a privilege and an honour to create a quilt with the essence and energy of my Aunt Dorothy imbued into the quilt. Her longevity well into her 100s and only faltering in her final year is a lesson in acceptance and letting go long before the Universe prepared for her to take flight.

My neighbour Kay and I talk about death a lot. Her husband died of Cancer many years ago and she wants to go to be with him.

In my experience, such thoughts are a sure indicator that she’ll live for a mighty long time.

Kindness when Quilting

When I quilt, I imbue all that I do with love, healing, freedom and whatever else arises at the time. I am thankful for what I have already transmitted in the world with creativity.

Life is about choices.

I used to think that I always, and I mean always, had to chose the hard options; to be the ‘better’ person.

It was when I was reading the book, “Whatever Rises, love that” by Matt Kahn that the revelation struck me like a big spiritual pinch. I have a choice. The choice is to chose the best option that feels right to me - to me, and no one else.

Crazy.

So I started to go with what felt like wellbeing in my heart.

The feeling of “Yes!!!”

Undoubtably.

From this space, I began to quilt more and more.

The inspiration for designing quilts came from this sunrise.

This morning, as I was preparing breakfast, to nourish my body before I began a day of creativity, which included quilting, of course, my thoughts fell upon the choice thing again.

My life is destined to be as it is.

I will leave this world better off than when I came, that is for sure.

What I do have is choice.

Choice of what I put into my body,

Choice of how I nourish myself,

Choice on how creative I am,

Choice of what walks I take, the stretches I reach for, the wellbeing I cultivate,

The health I inspire to grow within like a seed rejuvenating daily.

The choice I have about what I think about myself and what I do say to myself.

The kind and loving words I use when I’m at my best and especially the self-compassionate words when I am at my worst.

Don’t get me wrong.

When I quilt and imbue the quilts with love and healing, the day comes as it should.

If I am thinking bad thoughts, I view them with kindness like a loving mother seeing her child in pain and only offering words of kindness, compassion, grace, above the fear that may dwell within.

May the world be healed by the creations that I create and may it begin with me.

Transmuting Anger

Creativity is important to me and I wasn’t ever quite sure why.

When I was in my 20’s and started to quilt I would joke and say,

“I manipulate fabric, not people.”

More than 20 years later, I have a different outlook, which is to be expected because I am older.

When asked, by close friends, how I am doing, I heard myself say more often,

“I am angry.”

I then listened to a podcast recently that discussed how a person requires to be in a certain emotion for how ever long it takes.

That sadness brings happiness,

Anger brings passion….

It is interesting. The more I feel and acknowledge the anger, do nothing about it except feel it, listen to it and welcome it into my life,

The more passionate about things I become.

My quilts are changing.

How I approach them,

What I do with them,

The intention that I put behind each and every quilt.

I no longer push anger away.

I no longer lock it out.

I no longer ignore it.

I feel it.

I’m excited really, to see what the future holds.

Clearly, I am not angry all the time.

I feel lots of other emotions too.

Shame opens space for courage.

Jealousy brings gratitude.

Betrayal opens space for trust.

What I imbue in every quilt,

I shall bless this message with:

May you be loved,

May you be healed,

May you be free.

I set an intention for all people who view the quilts that are made by me to receive the transition of all of these three things and may it be so for all people who find themselves at this website or perhaps even reading this blog.

Gifts of Gratitude

The last quilt that I gave as a gift of gratitude. It was time for this quilt to rest in someone’s home instead of travelling to quilt shows. It found it’s rightful home.

Read More

Soulful Sanity

“Soulful creativity comes from not knowing were you’re headed.”
— Holly Regan

The course starts at 10 am.

I arrive at 9:30 thinking I’ll be the first person there.

It makes sense because that’s usually the way.

I come in with the sewing machine and box of essentials.

In my eye line, I see many women already set up and ready.

Set up and Ready!?

Unknowingly, these women had already bought the book and were prepared.

I was not.

As I hear the sewing machine plonk down onto the table,

I feel my heart starting to race.

“Have I missed something?” I thought to myself.

So I do what I always do in these moments.

I breath.

Inhale, exhale.

“What am I doing here?”

I don’t know.

I see the Rachael Daisy’s quilts displayed throughout the back of the room.

My eye is pleased with the circular designs.

Her colour choices calm me almost instantaneously.

I don’t know who she is.

I gather the person signing the books is Racheal.

I was looking through the Addicted to Fabric Workshops and the circle photo caught my eye and when I inquired within, it felt good. So I booked.

These days, the less I know the better.

It keeps me grounded.

No expectations.

Um, well, except for my idea of how the morning would begin.

It doesn’t happen anything like I expected.

There is no acquainting myself with the environment before anyone arrives.

“Why is this happening to me?” I ask myself.

I don’t know.

But I’m sure that it’ll all be amazing and work out as it is meant to.

♥️

Holly’s Whizz Bang Example 1

Holly’s Whizz Bang Example 1

What I learnt from the two days is that any form of creativity is good for the soul.

It is how the soul expresses its essence.

What makes it even better is by not planning but just going with the flow,

And allowing the teacher to guide you through her process.

Rachael led us through each type circle design with a ‘let’s just wait and see what evolves’ guidance.

Here’s the catch….

Soulful creativity comes from not knowing were you’re headed.

That’s soulful.

To not know where the piece of whatever you are doing will end up.

No outcome.

No intention.

Just pick and choose fabrics that feel right.

I love how Rachael Daisy presents the course.

Before I arrive, I have an idea of what fabrics I will use.

Even though I have no idea what I am going to be doing.

I have to have some sense of control, even if it’s a little bit.

I suppose the control came from my idea of how the morning is supposed to start….

… and I don’t start with using the yellow fabrics that I anticipate using.

So much for control.

♥️

Holly’s Whizz Bang Example 2

Holly’s Whizz Bang Example 2

As the two days unfolded,

I became more exhilarated by the unknown.

Giggling to myself, especially a lot during the second day,

I found it amusing that I was so far behind.

No longer was I the first to get to the course and not was I the first to get done each task.

I had no idea what is going on and that’s ok.

So why not just go with the flow?

Which is exactly what I did.

It opened up this real sense of curiosity about what I was learning.

As the workshop continued, I felt more relaxed and thus the room felt more relaxed too.

Go figure.

I got to know the women around me.

It was lovely to talk,

To listen.

To see the designs everyone else was creating.

To appreciate other people’s colour choices even though it wasn’t what I would have chosen.

To see how everyone’s internal world came out in their external creation.

To be inspired by everyone’s creation, including my own.

♥️

Holly’s Whizz Bang Example 3

Holly’s Whizz Bang Example 3

I learnt about the difference between quilting with a prepared outcome and quilting without a prepared outcome.

When I have an idea about the outcome, like creating an award winning quilt, I go nowhere fast.

It spoils the flow and the soulful experience.

When I have an ‘I don’t know where I’ll end up’ frame of mind, that’s when the magic happens.

When I let go of outcomes, anything is possible.

The Whizz Bang 2 Day workshop with Rachael Daisy solidified this realisation.

It grounded it into my body.

I get it.

I loved how Rachael taught the class.

Nothing was prescribed.

It was all about learning a new technique and then just making a start and seeing where you go.

No outcome.

Surprisingly, with the direction of a technique and without an idea, a plan, an intended outcome, I am so very happy with the results that came from the 2 days…

Well, 3 days actually, because I went home and finished them all off.

Being one of the last to complete each piece of work was an amazing experience too.

I got to see life from the other side of the tracks.

To slow down,

To honour the process-

The awkwardness of doing something new,

The tiredness from the night before,

The fear of the unknown, of being in a room with a bunch of people I didn’t know,

The faith of following an unknown process,

And loving myself through the entire process.

Next year, I’ll be signing up to the Whizz Bang course where everyone gets to show what they’ve been creating and to begin the process of dreaming into the quilts that can be made from the circle designs.

I’ll have some prepared little things before hand so that I can delve into the magnificence of the journey ‘let’s see what happens.’

If you want to take an amazing class, here is the link to Rachael Daisy’s website. She’s amazing.






Finishing a Quilt - the key to unlock the completion of a quilt

Before we start this journey,

I need to state a couple of facts.

I am NOT a details person.

Details and focusing on everything creates insecurity and neediness,

Which results in quilts not getting done.

The strange thing is that the quilts that I create are very detailed.

I love to hand stitch and appliqué everything.

But that’s not what I focus on.

I focus on the creativity of the end result,

I focus on the story that comes with each quilt regardless if I have created it myself or followed a pattern.

I focus on the love and attention that I put into everything that I do.

I DO NOT focus on the detail.

I let the details, the fine mundane and boring, sometimes tedious cutting out and stitching become a kind of meditation for me. I go somewhere else in my head and let my imagination take over.

I do not focus on the time it takes or put myself under any kind of pressure.

3 years comes and goes so quickly and with it a beautiful creation that is filled with love and healing properties. There is such freedom in finishing a quilt off and getting ready for the next journey.

Yes, there is a lot of detail and precise bits when it comes to patchwork.

I don’t focus on this, at all.

When I do, my creativity and quilting mojo stops. It’s the best indicator for me.

What am I focusing on?

If i’m not quilting, then it is most likely that I am bogged down by the details or some internal pressure that isn’t even real. An illusion.

With my awareness I acknowledge this, lovingly give myself the attention that I require and get back on track.

I start my quilts with a create joy and love the creativity of choosing colours and imagining how the quilt is going to look or how I am going to alter it to suit my needs.

I cut and glue and sew and enter the land of fine detail with no care in the world. I let it happen and bask in all the time I get to spend with myself and my thoughts. I’ve gotten to know myself very well over the years.

My negative thoughts have become less and less. I attribute this to quilting. My awareness of myself is like no other. I gained this gift by taking advantage of being me in a detailed world where I do not belong.

Half way through the quilt, which could be years…. I take a break and start another quilt to get the creative juices flowing again. This helps me to get excited again and the excitement of a new quilt helps to tow along the enjoyment of the one quilt that I’ve been working on for so long.

Three quarters down and I’m excited for the completion of the quilt. I can see the creativity coming out, I can feel the love and healing that has taken place and has been put into the quilt.

My heart begins to sing.

That is an indicator that I am out of the shadow of the valley of detail.

There is a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel.

I am all the better for the journey.

I am a better person.

My ancestors rejoice for another stitched creative project being completed.

It’s in my blood. My DNA.

lol

I just got carried away there. In my mind, I just finished a quilt.

I best get back to the one that is sitting on the kitchen table.

I’m three quarters the way through this one.

I can’t take a picture because it is a Block of the Month (BOM) that can not be shown on social media until May 2019. Come back then and I’ll post it’s journey with me.